THE NEW YORKER CARTOON CAPTION CONTEST

Every week, The New Yorker asks its readers to caption a cartoon and vote for their favourite entry. I never win, but I like to keep measuring myself against an army of American tweeters. Here are my best attempts.

Sorry, we don't usually drink with suckers...
So... global warming deniers CAN read!
This 1-month Detox Smoothie Challenge is turning your head, Jack!

SEEDS TO BRANCH

Similarly, Seeds to Branch regularly invites people to 'caption this' on LinkedIn.  Here are my suggestions.

Start your day with a bang!
2020 Xmas Party, cam turned off.
Best Friends – Now coming with Instruction Manuals
Window must be kept close at all times
I've lost re-touch with reality