THE NEW YORKER CARTOON CAPTION CONTEST

Every week, The New Yorker asks its readers to caption a cartoon and vote for their favourite entry. I never win, but I like to keep measuring myself against an army of American tweeters. Here are my best attempts.

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Sorry, we don't usually drink with suckers...
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So... global warming deniers CAN read!
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This 1-month Detox Smoothie Challenge is turning your head, Jack!

SEEDS TO BRANCH

Similarly, Seeds to Branch regularly invites people to 'caption this' on LinkedIn.  Here are my suggestions.

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Start your day with a bang!
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2020 Xmas Party, cam turned off.
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Best Friends – Now coming with Instruction Manuals
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Window must be kept close at all times
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I've lost re-touch with reality